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Welcome to the birth prep podcast. I'm Taylor, your birth bestie, who's here to support you as you plan and prepare for the unmedicated birth of your dreams. If you're ready to ditch the fear, conquer the hospital hustle, support that bump and bod, and walk into the delivery room like the HGIC you were born to be, then buckle up, babe.
This is where it all goes down. Hello, hello, and welcome back to the birth prep podcast. I have something super important to talk with you all about today.
You, when it comes to your birth, you are the HGIC, which is just a cute little term that I came up with, head girly in charge. And we're going to talk all about what that means, how to become that, how to start doing that work now while you're pregnant. But I just want to start off by saying you are the head girly in charge, not your provider, not the hospital, not the policies that were made without you in mind, you and you alone.
And stepping into that role doesn't start when you roll into the hospital and labor, it starts right now. It starts during your prenatal appointments. It starts during your birth prep.
This is important work to do. And I'm super excited to be chatting with you guys about it today. So if you want to pull off your unmedicated birth in the hospital, it is time to start flexing those HGIC muscles and walk in with that HGIC energy every time you step into your provider's office.
So what does it actually mean to be an HGIC? Being the head girly in charge isn't about being combative or making everything a fight. It's about walking into those appointments with confidence, knowledge, and a plan. It means owning your choices because your birth is not up for debate.
It's about asking the right questions because not all providers practice the same way. It's about reading between the lines because vague answers and dismissiveness are red freaking flags. It's about making informed decisions because saying yes or no should be based on facts, not fear.
And finally, it's about knowing when to walk away because the right provider will support your goals, not fight them. I have a whole lesson about this inside the birth prep course where I compare what an HGIC girl looks like compared to a passive patient, which unfortunately we call peepees. It's just that wasn't planned, but that's how it worked out, okay? When you're a passive patient, you just go with the flow.
You listen to your provider. You take their word for it. You don't ask a lot of questions.
You're not an active participant in your prenatal care. Just very wishy-washy, no one way or the other. You're not bringing up your plans yet.
You're not taking charge. You're not questioning your provider on things. You're just going with the flow.
And going with the flow is all fun and games until you end up somewhere you don't want to be. So how do we become HGIC? Pull up your chair, girl. I'm about to tell you.
Get your notes out. First and foremost, you're going to do your homework. Your prenatal appointments are not the time to just nod and go along with whatever your provider says.
If you do not know your options, you don't have any. So HGICs educate themselves. You already know what your birth plan is.
You already know where you and your provider align and where there's probably going to be some friction. You understand the common hospital policies, especially for your chosen birthplace. Are they evidence-based or are they just hospital routine? You understand the procedures and the tests that you'll be offered during your prenatal experiences.
You understand the risks and the benefits and the alternatives. You know what questions to ask to make sure you get the information if you don't already know those things. When you are educated, you can have real conversations instead of just blindly following your provider's orders.
That brings us to step two. We're asking the right questions. HGICs do not accept vague, dismissive, or half-baked answers.
They ask direct questions and expect clear responses. When you ask a question, you shouldn't feel more confused after they give the answer. So here are some examples.
Our provider is recommending we do an additional test during our prenatal journey. Okay, can you please provide evidence or statistics to support that recommendation? Like, show me the research. I am not asking what your opinion is.
I want the research, please. Your provider says, oh, this is just what we do here. Okay, is this a hospital policy or a recommendation and do I have the right to decline? Or this one.
This one's a huge red flag. You bring up your birth plan and your provider's like, oh, we'll talk about that later on in your pregnancy. Oh, I'd like to discuss it now.
I know we might get more information and things could change, but for the time being, I would like to have the time to make informed decisions. How your provider responds when you ask these kind of questions after they say something that's dismissive or vague or just like, hey, this is what we're doing, telling you what's happening instead of asking you. Their response will tell you everything that you need to know about whether they're truly on board with your unmedicated birth or just tolerating your choices until the big day so they can have their way.
One of your biggest jobs as HGIC is like basically being like a vibe check. Check the vibes. So step three is we're watching for red flags.
If you start advocating for yourself and your provider gets defensive or dismissive or even condescending, that's a problem. So pay attention to rushed appointments. If they don't have the time to discuss your birth, they don't have the time to respect your choices in labor.
They're that busy. They're probably going to be still that busy on the day you give birth. So red flag, fear-based language.
If they try to scare you into compliance instead of giving you facts, that's a fat no. Okay. Give me the information.
Give me the information for both sides. You're sitting here telling me all of the risks of staying pregnant, but none of the risks of the induction that you're offering me. Red flag.
Also flat out refusals if they say, oh, I don't allow that. They see themselves as the boss. And just a reminder, they work for you.
You are paying them for a service and it's totally okay to hold them accountable to that. They are not the authority figure. They may have went to school, but you are hiring them.
They work for you. And the ultimate red flag is just straight up changing the conversation. If they are dodging your questions or they're saying, hey, we'll just see when the time comes, they're likely planning to steamroll you later.
And before we move on to the next step, just a reminder that it is never too late to fire your provider. Even if a baby is quite literally coming out of your body, you can dismiss them from your space. Step four is to get comfortable saying no.
Now I don't know about you, but myself and a lot of women that I have encountered over the years are people pleasers. Okay. We don't necessarily put ourselves before others in many situations.
I personally do now because people don't put me before themselves in situations. So why should I? When my well-being is my responsibility, I am not there to please providers. I am not there to be liked.
I am not there to do anything other than do things my way. So get comfortable saying no. HGICs do not just go with the flow.
They actively make decisions about their care. If a test or procedure or intervention just does not feel right to you, you have the right to decline. You have the right to wait to get more information.
Instead of feeling pressured to say yes and giving an answer in the you can practice these phrases. I'd like more information before making a decision. Oh, that doesn't align with my birth plan.
Can we discuss alternatives? Um, I'm declining this procedure today. I understand the recommendation, but I've decided to go another route. Saying no during a prenatal visit is excellent practice for labor when decisions will come at you very quickly.
There's a lot of decisions to make during a typical birth experience. If you don't know what those decisions are, I'm going to put the link for my birth plan guide in the show notes. It's a free resource.
It has dozens of decisions that need to be made surrounding a typical birth experience. You should grab that so you can start educating yourself on these decisions and your options for those decisions. So you know what you want before you even walk in the room.
Step five, after all this, you're doing all this work. You're trying your best to be HGIC. You're doing all the things, asking the right questions, standing firm in your decisions, holding the boundaries, but your provider is still pushing back.
It's probably time to break up girl. Okay. The perfect for you provider is how I teach in my course is like you need to find somebody that is perfect for you.
All providers, they, you know, they, they're probably great for somebody, but not all are perfect for you. So you want to find somebody who's going to support your goals without resistance, respect your decisions without guilt tripping. You have a track record of attending unmedicated birth successfully keyword there.
And just someone who's going to make you feel heard and informed and empowered, not make you feel like a nuisance. I've seen so many women belittled and just straight up dismissed. And so many things you, you don't want to experience that.
Definitely not in your most vulnerable moment, birthing a baby. The best way to have an empowered birth experience is to start now with an empowered pregnancy experience. If your provider doesn't treat you like the head girlie in charge before labor, they're definitely not going to, when you're vulnerable in the hospital.
Becoming HGIC doesn't typically happen overnight, but every prenatal visit is a chance to step into your power a little more. Every conversation that you have, even with your loved ones is a chance to be like, Hey, I know you don't agree with the decisions that I'm making, but I want you to understand that this is what I'm doing and you don't have to agree. And I'm going to continue down this route regardless.
These are such good skills to learn now during your pregnancy, because these are such good skills to have when you are a mother, you are going to be navigating, making decisions for another human being. Some decisions that are lifelong, some decisions of which happens right in the hospital. The very day your baby is born, you need to be prepared to walk in authority because you are the best person to make decisions for yourself and make decisions for your baby.
Truly you are the only one who has all the information that you need. And if you don't feel like you have enough information, you are absolutely capable of getting said information. So if you are ready to become the HGIC you were born to be, check out the birth prep course.
That is where we do so much work to get you prepared for that. Um, we also have the HGIC squad, which is the Facebook group where we do our weekly live streams with all the students. You can head to the show notes to enroll today and make sure you grab your free birth plan guide before you go to, that'll be in the show notes for you as well.
That even has your newborn decisions that you need to make in the hospital so that you can start informing yourself about those. I promise stepping into your mama era is so much better as an HGIC from someone who quite literally used to be a pee pee. Okay.
I'll be back with y'all on Thursday to answer your questions for the HGIC hotline. Until then, as always, happy prepping.
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